June 26, 2016
Some day soon you're going to connect the facts of being adopted and being sisters and possibly, quite possibly, you'll have this moment where you'll tell yourself that this must mean you're not real sisters. Because real sisters, you'll reason, share the same womb or same sperm bank. And if you were both conceived by different moms and dads from different backgrounds and countries and in different cities then this must mean you aren't real sisters.
Maybe you won't think this at all. You'll make the full connection when you're older or you'll be a fast mental-processor and you'll always know that you are in fact real sisters. But if that doesn't happen I want you to know that it's okay to feel this way. In fact, it will be okay to feel EVERYTHING that you feel - whether it's rational or completely irrational. Please never forget that and don't let anyone tell you any different. Your feelings are your feelings to be had and to be processed and to be laced with understanding and peace in the timeline that is genuine and true for you.
But I want to tell you something that may or may not help, but in the chance that it will here goes...
You'll hear the word real as you grow up. The English language can be a bit elementary in the amount of words we use to describe certain things, but regardless real defined is this:
: actually existing or happening : not imaginary
: not fake, false, or artificial
: important and deserving to be regarded or treated in a serious way
So yes, you are REAL sisters. Your sisterhood is not imaginary, fake or artificial and it absolutely - with the utmost level of importance - deserves to be regarded in a serious way.
When I flew home to Cincinnati with you, Lola, Daddy and Charley were waiting for us at the top of the escalator. When I got to the top I sat you down where you were sleeping in your car seat and Charley ran to you, leaned her toddler self all into your space and kissed your face.
When you got really good at dancing and jumping, Charley, I would put Lola in the exersaucer and you would jump and dance around the living room while she belly laughed. Sometimes to the point of throwing up her entire bottle.
Tonight you all were helping one another water the flowers in the front when I heard the doorbell ring. As I walked through the dining room to unlock the door for you to come in I saw you holding hands and running down the stairs and across the front yard to hide behind a tree. I opened the door, acted confused, said, "hello??," looked around and tried really hard not to join you two in your belly laughing.
Shortly after I started the shower for the three of us and you, Lola, said you had to pee. You then, Charley, said you had to as well so you ran off behind her. I was already in the shower and within minutes I could hear you both in-sync with the type of laughter that turns silent. I got out of the shower to find you both on the toilet together peeing at the same time.
Doorbell ditching together and tandem peeing aside know this:
Shared wombs, shared sperm banks or shared genetics aren't the only ways to make sisters. Families aren't just formed by nature. It's important you understand in your own time that your sisterhood is ordained and is not imaginary, fake or artificial and it absolutely - with the utmost level of importance - deserves to be regarded in a serious way.
People, even the kindest ones with the best of intentions, will ask you if you're real sisters. Answer yes. And, if they ask again, "Right right, but are you really real sisters?" Answer yes again.
The answer is yes.
It always will be.
p.s. To be a sister means you look out for one another and you cheer one another on through this life and you continue to offer each other grace even when things get tough and you show up for each other always and forever. You've both been given a very serious job. Don't dare take it lightly.